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31. Searching for a spiritual teacher 8/15/03
Living in NYC in the sixties I had access to all the spiritual teachers that were starting to come to the west to fill the void in the western mind about the subject of spirituality. At the same time I considered myself to be totally ignorant of what it meant to be enlightened or spiritually aware. This was new ground for me and the only ground I had covered was trying to understand myself from the perspectives of being a psychologically healthy type. Of course this was all over the place and all one could do was mask the developmental flaws from others while inwardly being in conflict with one’s state of affairs. Kind of a voyeuristic living, where one tries to make adjustments based on what looks like sanity while hiding the many self’s, or voices that are at play in the untrained mind.
At that time I was working with a man of seventy Hayden Preston who had been around the world looking for a natural cure for his own physical problem of polio. He was a very successful flower grower for the wholesale markets and lived at the Essex House on Central Park South. He studied with many of the early teachers of the past century from Rudolf Steiner, Manly Palmer Hall, Yogananda, to different spiritualists and mediums.
Whenever I would announce to him that I was going to see or listen to a speaker of a particular Yoga or religious teaching he would say, “Don’t be surprised if you are disappointed.” Invariably he was right. Most of what I heard was ether kindergarten spirituality or a repetition of books I was reading with out any light or spiritual resonance coming through. Perhaps the speaker had an air of self-confidence that was fine, but then there were so many other things that could be viewed as flawed that I would come away disappointed. I must say, Chogyam Trungpa was one of the most interesting teachers that I went to see. He presented spirituality in a way that had the ring of what sounds true, not that I entirely understood it at that time. Even though he always showed up very late, at one week long seminar he was two days late, I kind of viewed this as an unflawed type of teaching.
Listening to Tami Simon in an interview with Ken Wilber, they discussed handling the disappointment in meeting with a spiritual teacher. What I see is that we tend for one, to sell ourselves short and also place a large degree of anticipation on the teacher that is presenting their views to us. Seems that the human side of each of us has many lines of development where we have both weak and strong points that should be considered, both in our own nature as well as in others. The bottom-line being that if we take full responsibility for realizing truth we are more likely to come face to face with the real. Then we can appreciate what is divine in others, despite what we see as flawed in them.
If we trust that what we are looking to understand is working in our own system were answers are cooking in the intuitive aspect of our own self-nature we will be better off. “Ask and it is given” seems to just require that we listen to the teacher within as well as appreciate the outer given. Perhaps we will not be disappointed! Thus being sincere in our efforts we can hardly miss the signs that are presented to us every day.
Chogyam Trungpa described a “guru” or teacher is a friend, primarily, were we can have a give and take and there is a feeling of exchanging and learning through communication. Our own experiences of what works is very important and may provide unique intuitive experiences that our “teacher” may delight in if we share that.
****
“Knowledge shines not in the
dark, but when the darkness
Is illumined, suffering disappears [ at once ].
Shoots grow from the seed
And leaves from the shoots.”
From; The Royal Song of Saraha, translated and annotated by Herbert V. Guenther.
Posted by harmon at August 16, 2003
Comments
Although I haven’t been
around a lot of teachers in the spiritual community, I can imagine that a lot of
teachers disappoint. With one exception—my study of Qi Gong--, I have always
been forced to learn from books. Some people will rant and rave that trying to
learn from books is a mistake, but I had no alternative to being a “lone wolf.”
I’ve been such a wolf for over 25 years.
During chats at our meditation hall, I often refer to members of the “Spiritual
Circus”--by that I mean those who purport to teach but whose real agenda is to
increase their marketability. Now I make no moral judgment on that. We all have
to live. And if they can make a living by increasing their marketability, more
power to them.
But I warn my peers that the kind of fluff that most of these people are marketing isn’t of much practical use. One guy who is a “headliner” tells the world that “meditation doesn’t work.”
I won’t name the fellow, but I am appalled that this person is even given passing respect after issuing a statement like that. And yes, he has been one of the authors mentioned on this site.
I guess this all tells us that the final arbitrator for our spiritual development must, ultimately, be our own inner voice.
Posted by: Solstice on August 16, 2003
Solstice, I can understand how you feel, especially after putting the pieces together by yourself. My hat is off to you for the most difficult of efforts in trusting your own intuition. Many people can gain insight even from the most corrupt of teachers because there own intent is sincere. Very much like the proverbial “going out on a limb”. If the heart is true this becomes the lesson we learn about seeking the inner guide. There certainly are enough genuine friends that will assist us these days when we need it especially at enlightenment.com. Hail to the chief!
Posted by: Harmon on August 17, 2003
~~~~~
I went to many different teachers in the early times of my search. The modern Jungians, Milton Erickson seminars. Body Work. Some were excellent, some were OK. You can always have fun with people.
Everything came across my
desk and I would yearn to take a cruise with THE latest teacher.
Then after I read the book or listened to the tape, I would feel thankful that I
did not spend the money.
One day when I was reading the last part of Eye of the Spirit by Ken Wilber called Always Already, I had an experience that made me feel I had come home. Later at a table with others, a nun told me that I had to go to the latest Mystery School. I told her I did not have to go anywhere anymore . I gave her the book and when she mailed it back she had passed it around and it was sort of threadbare. She got a "hit" that changed her way of thinking, seeing etc.
IT seems that after raising
5 children and always pursuing the search in some way that there was a prelim of
discipline and learning that prepared me. Now that I have read and meditated on
most of Wilber's Books and done body work with tapes and read others who inspire
me, I am convinced that my Inner Guide is doing just fine. Spending the money on
going to the beach or to the mountains or watching good movies and reading good
books and getting physical is just working out well for me. Reminds me of
Raymond's wife on Everyone loves Raymond, who was interviewed about the TV show,
Survivor. She said, "let them come and spend three months with my four boys, and
we will see who is left standing." Living Life and Being really connected to
that is quite a teacher. There is a book out there for every phase and stage and
in the beginning, it was important for me to have a teacher to look up to in the
flesh.
That has all changed. I can read any of them if I so choose. As my brother says,
"I love the US of A. Everyone can have something. I think that is true here. You
can find it if you want it and whatever you do, it is up to you anyhow. Pattye
Posted by: Pattye Gilligan on August 21, 2003
Pattye, Thank you for giving us your take on this search that brought you to seeing as you have. I agree with you that the life in front of us is showing much of what we need. With the help of many contemporary writers speaking to us from a very immediate comprehension of the real, ‘coming home’ can be a home grown experience.
Raising 5 children, now there is a practice I have not come across! Bless you.
Posted by: Harmon on August 23, 2003
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